Soulful Sojourning

Real Life, Real Love

I t all starts with MOOOOOOMMMMMMM! Isaac ate dog food! MOM! Isaac’s sucking on a sponge and spraying water all over the bathroom. Mom! Isaac’s climbing into the dryer!

The chaos seems all consuming lately. The prettier I try to make my web life, the uglier I see my real life. There aren’t any travel adventures or Instagram moments today, unless you want pictures of all the things I’m scraping off my stovetop or the size of my dust bunnies.

When there are more unmatched socks than pairs, more bills than money, more unanswered phone calls than time in the day, I hear the lie whisper in my ear, you are not capable.

I’ll be the first to admit I’m not capable. Life is difficult no matter what your circumstance. However, what scares me is when I insert lovable for capable. The lie takes over and I hear you are not capable therefore you are not lovable.

Why does this lie have so much power over me? I don’t apply it to my children. I change multiple diapers a day, cut up apples and chicken nuggets, wash countless soiled clothes and wipe snotty noses. No matter how big the mess, I still delight in sticky fingers, chubby feet and sloppy kisses. I never love my son any less because he’s not capable of caring for himself.

It’s the same with my lovely third grader. Even as she’s learning to make eggs and do multiplication, I never love her any less if she leaves shoes in every room of the house or needs to be asked 37 times to empty the dishwasher. I’m also grateful for a husband whose love is not contingent on my housekeeping skills or the money I bring home.

So why is my internal dialogue so polluted? In our home, we say often that our love is not dependent on performance. One day we will be exceptionally proud, another disappointed but love is unconditional. There will be praise and there will be consequences but love never changes.

Breathe in. Breathe out. As the old year fades into the new, I pray for grace and the stillness to listen. Listen to my children, listen to the birds, listen to the compliments my husband gives so generously that often get drowned out by children and self-doubt. Most importantly, that I listen to my creator. Listen to the dreams he has for me, the encouragement, the strength, the correction and the truth to see myself in the way he does, every moment of every day.

20 “But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self,[f] which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” Ephesians 4:20-24 ESV

By God’s grace,

#reallifereallove

Share this Story
Load More Related Articles
Load More By Sarah Kay
Load More In Soulful Sojourning

Facebook Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Check Also

The Lonely Act of Creation – A Poem by Sarah Kay Ndjerareou

No one told me it would require solitude ...

Have we met?


The child of missionary parents, writing became a natural was to process my adventures across the world.

Ndjerareou means 'he who builds the road in Ngambai, Nate's tribal language spoken in Chad, Africa.

Get on the VIP list!

Follow Me @

Did You Pin It?

My Insta-happenings

  • "It is a happy talent to know how to play." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
.
.
.
It may have only lasted for 30 minutes but it was delicious to watch him frolic. Thankful for languid  afternoons, family and all the laughter .
.
#klydewarren #abilenetx #cousins #freeplayarlington #familyfun
  • No one told me it would require solitude to put pen to paper
And yet my loneliness provides a voice

In the space between wonder and wandering my soul speaks

The margin between exultation and despair is the place I reach out

The prayer to be heard becomes a longing to be understood 
The desire flows into rhythm and story flows out into the world

When the Lord spoke the world into being he created from the void 
From nothing he created life and beauty 
And it was good.

The divine spark of creativity is a gift 
Left over from the beginning of time

Yet the act demands that I enter into the void

The space between belonging and being lost

To listen to the wild call of the soul

To hear it echo in a silent space 
The one that bubbles up with bravery 
To think or dare to place your vision into the sea of life 
A call to from nothing into something

It is the imprint of the creator

Like a prayer we pour our energies into the space of humanity

An offering to the divine 
A reflection of something sacred in the broken reality of our world

May I never loose the hunger to enter the void

Grant me faithfulness to doggedly pursue the gift

To steward to act of creating something from nothing 
Honor the creator 
Build a bridge to my sister

Speak truth in the darkness

Story on the soul

The Lonely Act of Creation - A Poem by S.K. Ndjerareou . .

#poems #writersofinstagram #inspiration #lakecomo #italy #neverstopwriting #explore
  • Here's to wild lands and all the places we've dreamed about. Thank you autumn for your natural inspiration. .
.
.

#fall #wanderlust #inspiration #wildlands #jrrtolkien #autumn #herestoournextadventure #booksquotes #inspiringwords #booksareadventures #
  • From our porch to yours! #happydayofcandy
  • "We're all mad here!" -Lewis Carol
.
.
 Trunk or Treat 2017 at the Village Church, Fort Worth is in the books! Thank you to everyone who poured your love, creativity and time into our community! An epic night!
.
.
#tvcfw #happyhalloween #wereallmadhere #cheshirecat #madhatter #whenyourteenasksyoutodressupyousayYES!
  • "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou
.
The beauty in a gathering of friends is the warmth that is ignited within us. The gentle touches that make us feel welcomed and cared for can be as simple as a cup of coffee or as detailed as exquisitely laid table. Both are an offering of love and kindness. Yesterday, a lovely group of women that I admire invited me into partake in friendship, a good meal and a moment of encouragement. As I walk away with renewed and nourished soul I am so thankful for these women who remind me of the gifts of hospitality. I'm grateful for the tender power of this art form, this place to gather that feeds the spirit, mind and heart.
.
.
. 
#tabletogether #greatconversationaroundtbetable #deepmomentstogether  #hospitality #gatheringtogether #gather #nothingisordinary #giftsoffriendship #celebratefall #eliminatehurry #invited #whatagifttobeinvited #thankyouforhavingus #whatajoy #teachtheyoungerwomen
  • My fall flavors are carrot cake & ginger bread. But I have a confession, I don’t bake well. I rarely wear my glasses in the kitchen and I’ve NEVER followed instructions very well so my baking mistakes are epic. The precision and concentration to create confectionary masterpieces is rarely worth the time or the guilt.  Birthday cakes come from Costco, I can make put cookie dough on a pan but I’ve even been known to mix up baked goods that come out of a box.  I do LOVE to cook.  I used to love painting but it feels the same in my brain as standing over the stove and my people are much more excited to see my culinary creations than my artwork. Go figure! .  Today, I bake to make memories. Life is moving fast and I’m always looking for meaningful ways to engage my children.  This recipe will give you those stolen moments together. For the recipe on these Carrot Cake Cookies click the link in my profile. It’s so easy even I can do it. .  #makememories #carrotcakecookies #fall #nothingisordinary #familytime #everydayadventure #nothingisordinary #ibakedit #webaketogether #frommykitchentoyours
  • "One secret of life is that the reason life works at all is that not everyone in your tribe is nuts on the same day. Another secret is that laughter is carbonated holiness." -Anne LaMott .
I'm so thankful for my tribe @arthousedallas and the inspiration, encouragement and laughter they've brought along the way. .
Today, I got my hands on an advance copy of Empathy for the Devil, Finding Ourselves In The Villains of the Bible, by JR Forasteros. @jrforasteros .
I've had the privilege of watching this piece grow from edited pages our tribe has spoken into and over to this fantastic book. Thanks for sharing your journey with us! Look for the book Nov. 7th. .
#writersofinstagram #findyourtribe #arthousedallas #inspiration #keepwriting #writeitdown #write #findthestoryinside #findyourvoice #celebrate #books #reading #storytelling #spilledink #writerscommunity