Soulful Sojourning

I WANT TO BE PRETTY!

I want to be pretty! It’s the screaming demand of my anxious heart and it gets my full attention. On any given day the demand can be different. I want to be loved, accomplished, adored. There is nothing wrong with any of these desires. To be cherished and delighted in is one of my favorite parts of the universal feminine spirit.  Little girls all over the globe giggle when they experience love.

It’s the foot stomping, soul-draining, toddler tantrum happening in my heart that makes me stop and take stock. I look around me, hoping no one else heard the whiny voice that bubbled up from my soul. This voice won’t be satisfied with reason. No haircut, compliment or new outfit will take the edge off this greedy hunger. It’s the black hole of desperation that helps me see it has nothing to do with beauty.

It’s fear talking, and behind the tirade, its whispering lies. “You’re not good enough, special enough, smart enough, skinny enough, stylish enough. Look around you. Has anyone noticed you today? I didn’t think so. . .”

In the echo of the ugly, I pause and listen. One of my favorite parts of experience (aka getting older) is knowing that the lies don’t have to own me. They don’t have to push me into chasing down false comfort. They do remind me to bow my head in silent momentary confession. “I’m so sorry that I was listening to that nasty little voice, Father.”

Finally I breathe in the truth. God made all beauty, and that creator is intimately at work inside of me. I am a vessel of unimaginable worth because of Him, and reflecting that value brings my heart true satisfaction. It’s the source of all that is good and lovely in my soul. As I care for my body, mind and spirit, I am free and I am loved because of him who lives in me.

“The sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing . . .to find the place where all the beauty comes from.” C.S. Lewis 

Share this Story
  • Exotic Flavors

    Plum & Cider Preserves

    Robert Farrar Campon, Episcopal priest, host, writer and food theologian, believed hospitality began with thoughtful, generosity. “If you can possibly do ...
  • Exotic Flavors

    Chadian Spinach & Peanut Stew

    It was such a gift to learn how to make this spinach & peanut stew years ago when I first married ...
Load More Related Articles
  • Exotic Flavors

    Plum & Cider Preserves

    Robert Farrar Campon, Episcopal priest, host, writer and food theologian, believed hospitality began with thoughtful, generosity. “If you can possibly do ...
  • Exotic Flavors

    Chadian Spinach & Peanut Stew

    It was such a gift to learn how to make this spinach & peanut stew years ago when I first married ...
Load More By Sarah Kay
Load More In Soulful Sojourning

Facebook Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Check Also

Keeping My Promise

My heart’s been poured into a lime green ...

Have we met?


The child of missionary parents, writing became a natural was to process my adventures across the world.

Ndjerareou means 'he who builds the road in Ngambai, Nate's tribal language spoken in Chad, Africa.

Get on the VIP list!

Follow Me @

Did You Pin It?

My Insta-happenings

  • “Her pleasure in the walk must arise from the exercise and the day, from the view of the last smiles of the year upon the tawny leaves and withered hedges, and from repeating to herself some few of the thousand poetical descriptions extant of autumn--that season of peculiar and inexhaustible influence on the mind of taste and tenderness--that season which has drawn from every poet worthy of being read some attempt at description, or some lines of feeling.” -Jane Austen, Persuasion.
.
.
#mainstayfarms #fall #takeawalkwithme #thoughtfulmoments #poetryinplay #wanderings #nofilterneeded #nothinglikefall #changeofseasons
  • “Being a daddy’s girl is like having permanent armor for the rest of your life.” – Marinela Reka
.
This is the smile my father only shows a few people. It’s his silly, happy, smile, the one I see when he’s with his family (they make the same grin!) Honestly, my heart skipped a beat when I saw I’d caught it on camera. He’s a tender hearted man but making him laugh is like wings on my soul!  #daddiesgirl #loveyou #makingmemories #comeforawalk #letsgooutside #sunshineandlaughter #letsplay #grateful
  • Shenanigans with Nana & Papa! A little sunshine goes a long way. Our family was thankful for a way to play together while daddy was on a trip. We miss him terribly but the sheep races, zip line, swings, apple canon epic slides,  pedal go carts, hay rack rides and mazes helped. Thank you Nana & Papa for all the memories! .
.
.
#mainstayfarms #pumpkinpatch #dst #letsplay #theyllsleeptonight #fall #texas #comeplaywithme #memories #farm
  • We voted! (Well one of us did!)The other learned a valuable lesson about civics and you’re never too old for a sticker. Last day for early voting!
. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 #vote
  • Wakanda Forever! Happy Halloween from the Ndjerareou’s #happyhalloween #blackpanther #shuri #allthecandy
  • “Your fears are real. You will fail. The critics will continue to earn their employment. For me, the joy far outweighs the risk of failure." -
@jonforeman
.
.
Night of inspiration, celebrating all the risks creatives take for the simple act of touching another’s heart in sound, sight and word. Thankful I’ve found my tribe, one that pours all it has into the world and each other. Thankful for a community that values the power of expression and it’s ability to lift us out of heavy times, give voice to causes worth fighting or the joyful songs we sing to celebrate all that is good, human and beautiful in this world. .
.
#arthousedallas #mytribe #jonforeman #arthouse #switchfoot #findyourvoice #tellyourstory #creativityforthecommongood #celebrate #joy #grateful
  • “Thou comest, Autumn, heralded by the rain, 
With banners, by great gales incessant fanned, 
Brighter than brightest silks of Samarcand, 
And stately oxen harnessed to thy wain! 
Thou standest, like imperial Charlemagne, 
Upon thy bridge of gold; thy royal hand 
Outstretched with benedictions o'er the land, 
Blessing the farms through all thy vast domain! 
Thy shield is the red harvest moon, suspended 
So long beneath the heaven's o'er-hanging eaves; 
Thy steps are by the farmer's prayers attended; 
Like flames upon an altar shine the sheaves; 
And, following thee, in thy ovation splendid, 
Thine almoner, the wind, scatters the golden leaves!”
Autumn by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
.
.
.
#longfellow #poetry #fall #pumpkin #mood #reflection #changeofseasons #enjoyingthewordsofanother
  • "I think food, culture, people and landscape are all absolutely inseparable."
-Anthony Bourdain
.
.
There’s a chill in the air here, it’s made me nostalgic. Once a year a try I to recreate the taste of my first soup de l'oignon. A French onion soup served in a little Christmas market at the foot of the Eiffel Tower. It’s been nine years but this weekend @thepioneerwoman recipe delivered all the nuance and flavor of that first, delicate memory. Maybe I’ve finally gotten wise enough to appreciate the importance of technique and time. Caramelizing the onions on the stove for 20 minutes, then in the oven for an hour, the flavors melt in your mouth. Invest in the Guyere, she said, and she was right. We found Paris, in our kitchen and a little bit of the glow of wandering, floated into our everyday. Here’s to discovery around the world and here at home. .
.
#tastetheworld #surlatabletogether #paris #adventuresinthekitchen #thetasteofmemories #memories #warmfoodcoldday #greatfoodgreatcompany #takethetimetocreate #soupdeloignon #memoriesinthemaking #comeawaywithme #deliveradventureonerecipeatatime #thetasteofparis