Soulful Sojourning

The Gifts I Never Wanted

A delicate mirrored box sits in my hutch surrounded by pretty heirlooms and souvenirs.  In a way, it’s a souvenir of some of my darkest moments, a memory kept in honor of the friendship and the beauty that comes from pain. Hopefully it will be an heirloom for my children of their mother’s honest raggedy faith made beautiful by time and tears.

         A wise woman, full of dignity and grace, gave it to me during a difficult season, wrapped up with a lovely bit of stationary.  “This is for your letters to God,” she’d written. “No one needs to know what you write, but you can release your words into his hands,” the card stated elegantly.   Right.  A mailbox to God, I scoffed! Me, pouring my broken heart into a little wooden box wouldn’t help what was ailing me.  I placed the lovely little box on my dresser and went about stewing in my self-pity.
         The first time I placed a letter in the box, I felt foolish.  Months would go by and I’d dust it off from time to time, wondering what people would think of my silliness.   It became my last resort, my prayer box.  If it went on the card and into the box, it was my dearest, most private prayer.  Some prayers were answered, some weren’t, but all were heard.
         Today, I wonder how a woman can survive without a mail-box to God tucked into their dining room. It’s moved with me several times.  Life hasn’t gotten easier or safer but that box has held my heart when it’s too heavy to bear alone.  It’s a witness to the faithfulness of God in my weakness.
         There are gifts that hurt to unwrap. A locket to honor a baby held for mere moments, a book for broken dreams, a stuffed animal that’s never been cuddled. Now, I’m the woman wrapping up a box with a bit of stationary, passing on the wisdom poured into me. These are the gifts that punch you in the soul and hardly do justice to the moments they represent.  Yet when time dulls the pain, these remain a testament to the loss and the loved ones who didn’t let me walk alone.  It reminds me of the women who’ve invested in my heartache, who spoke up, spoke out, and didn’t leave me alone. They didn’t tell me how to feel.  Through their prayers, we mined the pain and shed the extra layers that were strangling my soul.  It’s a witness to loveliness found in the hardest places. It’s a legacy of prayer and hope.
By God’s grace,
Share this Story
Load More Related Articles
Load More By Sarah Kay
Load More In Soulful Sojourning

Facebook Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Check Also

The Lonely Act of Creation – A Poem by Sarah Kay Ndjerareou

No one told me it would require solitude ...

Have we met?


The child of missionary parents, writing became a natural was to process my adventures across the world.

Ndjerareou means 'he who builds the road in Ngambai, Nate's tribal language spoken in Chad, Africa.

Get on the VIP list!

Follow Me @

Did You Pin It?

My Insta-happenings

  • "It is a happy talent to know how to play." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
.
.
.
It may have only lasted for 30 minutes but it was delicious to watch him frolic. Thankful for languid  afternoons, family and all the laughter .
.
#klydewarren #abilenetx #cousins #freeplayarlington #familyfun
  • No one told me it would require solitude to put pen to paper
And yet my loneliness provides a voice

In the space between wonder and wandering my soul speaks

The margin between exultation and despair is the place I reach out

The prayer to be heard becomes a longing to be understood 
The desire flows into rhythm and story flows out into the world

When the Lord spoke the world into being he created from the void 
From nothing he created life and beauty 
And it was good.

The divine spark of creativity is a gift 
Left over from the beginning of time

Yet the act demands that I enter into the void

The space between belonging and being lost

To listen to the wild call of the soul

To hear it echo in a silent space 
The one that bubbles up with bravery 
To think or dare to place your vision into the sea of life 
A call to from nothing into something

It is the imprint of the creator

Like a prayer we pour our energies into the space of humanity

An offering to the divine 
A reflection of something sacred in the broken reality of our world

May I never loose the hunger to enter the void

Grant me faithfulness to doggedly pursue the gift

To steward to act of creating something from nothing 
Honor the creator 
Build a bridge to my sister

Speak truth in the darkness

Story on the soul

The Lonely Act of Creation - A Poem by S.K. Ndjerareou . .

#poems #writersofinstagram #inspiration #lakecomo #italy #neverstopwriting #explore
  • Here's to wild lands and all the places we've dreamed about. Thank you autumn for your natural inspiration. .
.
.

#fall #wanderlust #inspiration #wildlands #jrrtolkien #autumn #herestoournextadventure #booksquotes #inspiringwords #booksareadventures #
  • From our porch to yours! #happydayofcandy
  • "We're all mad here!" -Lewis Carol
.
.
 Trunk or Treat 2017 at the Village Church, Fort Worth is in the books! Thank you to everyone who poured your love, creativity and time into our community! An epic night!
.
.
#tvcfw #happyhalloween #wereallmadhere #cheshirecat #madhatter #whenyourteenasksyoutodressupyousayYES!
  • "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou
.
The beauty in a gathering of friends is the warmth that is ignited within us. The gentle touches that make us feel welcomed and cared for can be as simple as a cup of coffee or as detailed as exquisitely laid table. Both are an offering of love and kindness. Yesterday, a lovely group of women that I admire invited me into partake in friendship, a good meal and a moment of encouragement. As I walk away with renewed and nourished soul I am so thankful for these women who remind me of the gifts of hospitality. I'm grateful for the tender power of this art form, this place to gather that feeds the spirit, mind and heart.
.
.
. 
#tabletogether #greatconversationaroundtbetable #deepmomentstogether  #hospitality #gatheringtogether #gather #nothingisordinary #giftsoffriendship #celebratefall #eliminatehurry #invited #whatagifttobeinvited #thankyouforhavingus #whatajoy #teachtheyoungerwomen
  • My fall flavors are carrot cake & ginger bread. But I have a confession, I don’t bake well. I rarely wear my glasses in the kitchen and I’ve NEVER followed instructions very well so my baking mistakes are epic. The precision and concentration to create confectionary masterpieces is rarely worth the time or the guilt.  Birthday cakes come from Costco, I can make put cookie dough on a pan but I’ve even been known to mix up baked goods that come out of a box.  I do LOVE to cook.  I used to love painting but it feels the same in my brain as standing over the stove and my people are much more excited to see my culinary creations than my artwork. Go figure! .  Today, I bake to make memories. Life is moving fast and I’m always looking for meaningful ways to engage my children.  This recipe will give you those stolen moments together. For the recipe on these Carrot Cake Cookies click the link in my profile. It’s so easy even I can do it. .  #makememories #carrotcakecookies #fall #nothingisordinary #familytime #everydayadventure #nothingisordinary #ibakedit #webaketogether #frommykitchentoyours
  • "One secret of life is that the reason life works at all is that not everyone in your tribe is nuts on the same day. Another secret is that laughter is carbonated holiness." -Anne LaMott .
I'm so thankful for my tribe @arthousedallas and the inspiration, encouragement and laughter they've brought along the way. .
Today, I got my hands on an advance copy of Empathy for the Devil, Finding Ourselves In The Villains of the Bible, by JR Forasteros. @jrforasteros .
I've had the privilege of watching this piece grow from edited pages our tribe has spoken into and over to this fantastic book. Thanks for sharing your journey with us! Look for the book Nov. 7th. .
#writersofinstagram #findyourtribe #arthousedallas #inspiration #keepwriting #writeitdown #write #findthestoryinside #findyourvoice #celebrate #books #reading #storytelling #spilledink #writerscommunity